Have you ever known someone with Peter Pan tendencies (that is, someone who never wants to grow up)? I know quite a lot of people like this: right after high school they were not going to go to college, and they didn’t want to work. I had a conversation with one of these friends, during which he realized that this stemmed from not wanting to be like his dad, whom he saw as miserable, having nothing to look forward to but work for years to come, and eventually death. Because he saw this as the only way of being an adult, he didn’t want to grow up.
Contrast this with Alpine Valley School students. They decide when they are ready to graduate, so they aren’t pushed unwillingly into the larger world. Graduates do not talk about this as an easy process but as one they were ready for, that they pushed themselves to and through, and which helped them become ready for the larger world. Hopefully they look at the adults at school and see happy people they might want to be like one day.
As one of our students defended his thesis he was asked the following question: “As you consider your life post-AVS, what do you find to be most exciting and most intimidating?” Considering and answering this question, he seemed to have missed the word intimidating. He listed many things that I was very intimidated by at his age—moving out, getting a job, and paying bills—all as things he is excited about. He couldn’t think of something that really intimidated him in his future.
This always makes me wonder: what is it that people want for their children? What I’d want is a person who is not afraid of their future—someone who is ready to grow up, who knows that they are in control, and who looks forward to the challenges and change that will inevitably appear.
Bhagavati Braun is a substitute staff member at Alpine Valley School.